Helen Mirren: 63 And Smoking

I'm prepared to accept that actress Dame Helen Mirren, at 63, has access to trainers, chefs and plastic surgeons that mere mortals can only dream of. And, OK, she has never had any children, which have a way of rearranging your body after you give birth to them. Only she knows for sure, but Mirren doesn't strike me as the kind of woman who is interested in pretending she's 40. She looks like a mature woman, and I mean that in the best possible way. Frankly, I think she's hot. Some time back, I put her on my list of Women I Might Switch Teams For Under Different Circumstances. But that is a topic for another day.

So I was not incredibly surprised to learn that she was the face behind the bikini-clad body on tabloid covers (screaming headline: "She's 63!") While Madonna's 50-plus body is the stuff of legend, it's a little too scary-intimidating for my taste. She could probably snap me like a twig, despite weighing only 15 pounds. Mirren's body is more striking in that it is trim yet womanly in all the right places. She looks like she works out but still drinks a glass of wine or has a cupcake every now and then.

Now to make this about me: Today, a very fit person stunned me by saying, "OK, you are looking trim. I can see your clavicle!" In rapid succession, her assistant said, "Your pants are too big!" Now, no one is going to bumrush me on the street and demand to know the name of my trainer anytime soon, but - can I say it? - my work seems to be paying off. A person just meeting me wouldn't be impressed, like, at all, but anyone who has known me for more than a year can see a different EDP emerging. I have a long, long way to go, but I am beginning to do certain things automatically - like saying, "I am going to work out today" and meaning it, whether I want to or not. I can make good decisions about food without being bitter ("But I want the fried ones!"). My daughter routinely asks, "Mommy, did you exercise today?"

Maybe if I keep it up, I will have a snowball's chance in hell of looking like the fabulous Dame Helen Mirren when I am not 63, but 43. I'd consider that a victory.