Travel Tales

I've been meaning to write a post about this but keep forgetting to do so. With all the air travel I've had lately, one tends to see a lot of bizarre behavior at airports and in flight. I've long been a student of public behavior, or "people watching" as it is more commonly called. All I can say is people do the darnedest things. Before proceeding any further, I should disclose a few things up front: 1) I am somewhat of a germ-o-phobe, 2) I am a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to manners and conducting oneself as a gentleman or lady, and 3) I have a tendency to be a little judgemental. That being said, I feel compelled to share these Travel Tales here with you. The first is the Tale of the Dirty Sandwich. Our flight had taken off and we had reached cruising altitude. I'm settled in, wearing my neck pillow and prepared for the journey. My eyes were closed in an attempt to block out the surrounding distractions, and maybe even catch a wink or two. All of a sudden I hear a rustling of plastic and start to smell food. Out of curiosity, I open my eyes and glance over to the seat across the aisle. There is a woman unpacking the contents of a plastic grocery store bag and laying it all out on her tray table. I watched, fascinated by what she had brought onto the plane. Truth be told, I have no issue with the fact she brought her own food, as airline food is nearly inedible if you are even lucky to get any at all. Anyhow, she starts an assembly line, which I now realize is to feed herself and two others seated nearby. But then she does something that really grosses me out: she lays out all the food components DIRECTLY ONTO THE TRAY TABLE, with no napkin or plastic. Picture this: a stack of sliced deli cheese, sliced cold cuts, sliced bread, PICKLES, all sitting there touching the tray table. She whips out a jar of mustard and begins making sandwiches. Apparently she must have the one completely sanitary tray table in the universe. Or perhaps she and her guests were already riddled with deadly bacteria and didn't mind a bit more from the tray table. They all happily consumed their lunch. When she was finished- she found a glob of mustard on the tray table. And yes, you guessed it, she swabbed it with her index finger of the tray table and licked her finger! I nearly vomited right there and then.
Next story: The Tale of the Dirty Diaper
I'm sitting in an airport, waiting at the gate to board the flight. We had easily 30 minutes to go before boarding started. Plenty of time for anyone to use the restroom which was 30 feet away. A mother and father stood nearby with their young toddler who was running around terrorizing everyone. The mother decided it was time to change the boy's diaper, so she calls him over, puts him on the floor, right at the gate, removes his pants and dirty diaper, and begins the usual process of changing a poopy diaper, right there in front of everyone- ON THE FLOOR AT THE GATE. Everyone watched in horror, especially me. What is it with people, couldn't she walk to the restroom to do this? Then once finished, she helped herself to a bag of potato chips, never having washed her hands.
My final story is the Tale of the Silly Songstress. Just my luck, I sit next to the future American Idol contestant who thinks she is better than she is. I was in my seat, feeling a bit grumpy so I kept to myself and didn't chat with anyone as I sat down and organized myself. I began reading my newspaper when the person sitting next to me begins singing, just loud enough that I could hear it. I stopped for a moment, and tried to figure out what was going on. I kept my face buried in the paper, not wanting to encourage her further. She wasn't wearing headphones and unknowingly "singing along", she was just sitting there singing. After two minutes I put down my paper, turned to her and said, "Would you mind not singing aloud, I find it rather distracting." She started to giggle and said "Aw you are sweet, let me try a different song for you." To my horror she continued to sing on and on. I finally had to break out my sony noise cancelling headphones and play my iPod. She actually had the nerve to ask why I needed to listen to my own music when I had her sitting there. I let her have it. She finally shut up and didn't say a word to me for the rest of the flight. Sometimes the direct approach is best.
Anyway those are my Travel Tales for today. Do you have any to share?
-Rick Rockhill